My passion for writing grew out of writing about relationships, but unlike others, my interest has always been about the end of relationships. Breakups, getting played, cheating, not knowing where you stand, all of these are stages of relationships that we don’t talk about, out of embarrassment or fear that others will judge us. At one point in our life most of us will get our heart broken, and whether you like it or not, you cant hold onto the hope forever that things will work themselves out and fall into place. Getting your heart broken shoves you into a situation where you are left picking up the pieces someone else left, which is why it’s so important to be present for someone when they take the risk of reaching out for support.
Something must be in the air this month because I’ve had numerous people reach out to me for support regarding their relationship status, ranging from women who were never official to twenty years deep into a marriage. Somehow along the way my passion for relationships coupled with my unwavering desire to listen to women process what went wrong has led women from around the world to reach out to me during their lowest moment, and no matter where I am I will always make time for a woman who is sitting somewhere crying over a lost chance at love.
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The thing is I’m not always available, and not every woman who reads one of my posts will reach out to me. Over the years I’ve been through enough breakups to hear most pieces of advice from friends, the good and the bad, as well as on the other side. Now becoming a therapist, I’ve learned what opinions are better kept to myself, as well as techniques that help people heal in the toughest of situations. If you’re in a position to help a friend or family member through a breakup, keep reading for my best advice on how to help them vent, heal, and move on in the healthiest way possible. No one relationship is the same just as no one breakup is the same, but my hope is that these tips will help you comfort someone else when they need it the most.
It can be tempting to trash talk an ex once a relationship has ended, but my rule of thumb is to avoid the name calling until I’m 100% positive a reconciliation is out of the question. Too many people are in on and off relationships, which can be awkward for everyone when they get back together. Speaking the truth is okay, but straight up bashing should be avoided until all bridges have been burned. As a therapist, I’ve learned the best way to help someone who is dealing with a difficult situation is to remain neutral. You would think my job would be to side with my clients, but that’s not always the case. The same rule goes for your friend. Remaining neutral means you don’t yet challenge anything they are saying, you simply let them make their point, say how they feel, and serve as an outlet for them to express themselves to. Anyone who has been through a tough breakup knows that no matter how long the final conversation was, it never feels like enough. For this reason, it’s important to only make yourself available to someone if you are going to give them the opportunity to talk until they can let it all out. Sometimes this takes multiple conversations, hours, and you’ll most likely hear a lot of information be repeated or changed as time passes. Talking through a problem helps people gain clarity of the situation, which is why the best thing you can do for a friend right after a breakup is give them an audience to vent their feelings to until they feel heard. Another tip I learned by becoming a therapist, the less advice you give the better. To be honest, therapists are really in the field of giving advice, we’re more tools to help people clearly see their options and choose the one that best suits them. Every time a friend asks you advice or an opinion, try flipping it around so that they ultimately answer their own question. For example, if asked “don’t you think it’s wrong for him to be texting other girls even though we weren’t official?” Try responding with, “what does him texting other girls tell you about how he valued your relationship?” By having friends make up their own minds, they’re more likely to see both the good and bad for themselves.
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What helps me most during breakups is knowing that my friends are willing to help me through it, which is why being told I can reach out whenever I need someone was so beneficial to my mental health. Don’t be afraid to call a friend to check up on them, send them a text in the middle of the day, or surprise them to provide a little extra company. Our generation is not shy about showing off their significant others on social media, yet only the best moments are broadcasted for all to see. For this reason, so many of us don’t know when the rest of us go through painful breakups, leading everyone to feel like they must be the only one. If you can relate to your friend in any way, don’t be afraid to tell them what you went through, how you got through it, and how your life has changed because of it.

Life after a breakup consists of a lot of sitting at home and running through old conversations in your mind, which is why it’s so important to get outside. If you have the time, make plans to do something with your friend, even if it’s just in their home. Distracting them for a short period of time gives them a break from their reality and lets them know that life will return to normal eventually. Social media makes it too easy to keep in touch after a breakup, but for some, the added insult of being unfriend (or blocked) makes it more difficult for them to heal. Although your friend may ask, avoid stalking their ex for them online. If it’s too hard to say no, unfriend their ex yourself so that your only option is to say no. Making time for a friend after their breakup doesn’t mean your entire life has to revolve around them, small things like calling them or sending them a text is all they need to know you’re still there if they need the support. For many, friends get put on the backburner during a relationship, so reaching out can feel weird once it ends. Making time for friends once a breakup has happened gives you both an opportunity to reconnect.
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The hardest part of being a therapist is telling clients realizations they don’t come to on their own, especially ones that they are actually repressing. After some time has passed, don’t be afraid to be honest with your friends. Honests truths are different from advice because they have nothing to do with your opinion. For example, stating that they were cheated on 3 times is a fact. Stating, “he’ll probably just end up cheating on you again,” is an opinion, avoid just stating your opinion. Telling friends the truths they don’t want to admit to themselves is difficult, but it can be necessary for them to see the big picture and begin moving on with their lives.
If you’re helping someone through a breakup or have in the past, comment below the hardest part in the process. I’d love to know what your greatest challenge was for follow up posts on the topic of breakups!
As terrible as it sounds, spending some time in the library will save you so much stress later. Taking the time to read over your coursework. work on those projects and focus on studying for exams means less time doing all those tasks at home. If you have the time now, save your time away from campus for actual fun activities. While you’re in the library you can save money on textbooks by reading the textbooks on reserve or scanning yourself a PDF copy. I haven’t bought a textbook in years, all by taking advantage of the books my university placed on hold. To learn more about how to save money by not buying books, click here. The older I get the more I realize how important it is to keep yourself fed. Since you’re most likely stressed, running around campus and running off ramen noodles, use some free time to grab an actual meal between classes. Plus, isn’t there some study by someone that you learn better when you’re well fed?
December 6, 2025
The 10 Most Effective Ways to Help You Study Last Minute | When Life Gives You Rubi
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Nobody enjoys studying and anyone who says they enjoy sitting in front of an overpriced book is a liar. Don’t trust them. Just like laundry, you have to get around to it eventually, unless you like paying for a class you’re going to have to take again. Oh, and you’ll be paying for that retake of course. I graduated from college just over a year ago and I swear my last paper as a senior was written the day before it was due. Am I proud of this? Maybe a little, but I don’t recommend it. Instead of pushing down your throat how you should study the entire semester and color code your notes, I’m going to give you the 10 ways I managed to get an A in every course, except economics because it sucked and it was right around the time I had an addiction to Fruit Ninja. Studying doesn’t have to be this thing you worry about all semester. As long as you go to class on a regular basis and actually try on your assignments, these 10 methods should help you get a good grade on your exam without you needing to spend every night in the library all semester long. I’m not advocating leaving your studying for the last minute, but let’s be honest, you’re going to. So for all my expert procrastinators out there, here’s how to do it without losing your mind.
Dorm rooms are loud, especially when your roommate has all take home exams. (Stares at with jealousy.) With most people flocking to the library for the first time all semester come finals time, you cant even count on that space to be quiet. Study groups, people eating Doritos, people listening to Taylor Swift on their headphones way too loud (me) are all reasons why you need your headphones with you always. Plus, nothing is more motivating than a Taylor, Beyonce, Nicki playlist. Trust me, you’ll love it. I’m definitely guilty of getting sucked into skipping song after song, wasting way too much time trying to find the perfect playlist and next thing I know an hour has passed and my study playlist may be perfect but I haven’t actually studied. Both Spotify and Pandora have great radio/playlist options to help you avoid wasting any time.
My favorite excuse to get out of studying is needing to go buy food, because hello, you can’t study on an empty stomach! Don’t fall for your own lies, buy food and snacks ahead of time so that you don’t have a reason to make a quick run to 7 Eleven. Plus, you can use these same snacks as a reward when you finish reviewing those long chapters. Listen, I totally get it, office hours are the worst. Professors and teaching assistants basically beg you to show up, promising that you can just stop by to chat or ask a quick question. But what happens the moment you do show up? Awkward silence and/or you have to stand outside and wait because some other student has never heard of this thing called the syllabus. Even though it feels weird, go! Take the time to write down every question you have and just ask them, if you’re lucky there will already be a group of people there to make the one on one interaction less likely.
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My only goal the first week of class is to form a relationship with one other person, just one! Why? Because there will come a day when I sleep in or need to be in line somewhere for free tickets, and on that day I will need to have the notes of whatever I missed. Having a friend in the class will give you a person to reach out to when you have a quick question plus someone to remind you that the paper was pushed to another due date.
You might also like: For more tips on how to survive your college years, follow my >SURVIVING COLLEGE< board on Pinterest for tips on studying, internships, and all things college related!!
Students at my university were super into sending mass emails to everyone in the class in order to share Google Docs or a location of where everyone would be meeting to study. It feels weird at first to write an email that 300+ people are going to read but just do it! Why waste time finding the answers to all the study guide questions when you can just split that work up into pieces? Let’s be honest for a moment, 99% of us don’t open the book until it’s exam time, which means aint nobody got time to be catching up on all that reading. I’m not here to judge you, props to you for even buying the book! If you don’t have time to read every freaking sentence, take time to read the chapter summary, then focus on the points mentioned there. If it was important enough to be mentioned in the synopsis, chances are there will be a question on it. You can’t study if you don’t have all your notes in one place, haven’t seen your book in weeks and lack the basic essentials like highlighters. Spend an hour getting all your supplies together so once you start you don’t have to stop everything to find that handout from week two. Nothing is worse than being one of those students that asks a question that could be easily answered had they looked at the syllabus. Besides exam dates and book requirements, your syllabus most likely outlines what will be covered each day of class. If your professor spent three lectures on abc but only one on day lecturing on xyz, chances are they are more likely to ask you questions on abc. Your syllabus is an outline of the most important points to cover, so take advantage of it! Some people have the skills necessary to be able to put down their phone and get down to business, then there’s the rest of us. I swear I think I almost failed economics because I was determined to get a high score on Fruit Ninja, but don’t be like me. Take advantage of apps like StayFocusd that lock you out of your Facebook account and other social media websites.
Is there anything you do to help you focus while you study? I’d love to hear your #1 distraction or motivator in the comments below.