Moving to Washington DC was one of the biggest and most unplanned decisions I’ve ever made. I’d like to say that in typical me fashion I had plans to move here after graduation, with a job lined up and ideas of what neighborhood I would rent an apartment in. But I cant. Somehow I found myself walking across the stage of my college graduation totally unaware of what my next step was. All I knew was that moving back home was the last thing I wanted or needed, and I was willing to take the first flight anywhere. Luckily I didn’t completely drop the ball my senior year, having spent a quarter interning in DC and applying to one graduate school. I didn’t think too much about it, the application fee was waived and it’s hard for me to say no to a good sale. Hell, I was saving 40 dollars, how could I not apply? Amazingly I was accepted, but I didn’t say yes to the offer right away. It took one month of living at home to realize that beggars cant be choosers, so I said ‘yes’ to moving back to DC and starting grad school in the fall. Goodbye year to find myself, hello crippling student loans! I’m not complaining though, at least not completely. I love Washington DC and all the opportunities it has presented me, but every great chance has come at a price. And that’s what happens when you take advantage of the things not everyone is offered, you give up all the comforts of predictability. Anyone who moves away to a new town far from home glamorizes packing up and catching that long awaited flight, yet no one talks about how hard it is once the plane lands. With no one to greet you at arrivals and welcome you home, living the dream feels more like surviving.
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I keep reading all these articles on sites like Thought Catalog and Elite Daily that talk about all the great things that come with moving to places like New York and being in your twenties, but who is writing about all the stress that comes with feeling alone in a place as big as New York City and how fucked up dating in your twenties has become. Moving to DC meant leaving behind every friendship I had created in California, from past roommates to high school best friends. Going to college 400 hundred miles from home meant I wasn’t new to having to start over, except this time there weren’t planned socials for me to meet new friends or extracurriculars I could sign up for with the hopes of leaving with free pizza and a new friend. Leaving my best friends had to be the hardest transition, with no one to run errands with or invite out on a Friday night. You don’t get used to not knowing a single soul, and after a while, you began to give up on the idea of finding a new group of friends. I can honestly say I haven’t really found a group of people in DC yet that I can truly call friends, and it sucks, but it’s the sacrifice I’ve made. That and giving up 50% of my income to keep a roof over my head.
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Shows like How I Met Your Mother and New Girl glamorize living in the city, and especially sugar coat what it’s like to have roommates in your twenties. This year I decided I would do everything in my power to live on my own, and while it was possible, the struggle is very much real. Quitting my job and praying I’d find a better paying one fast, renting a studio and putting up with pipes that smell like rotten eggs are just some of the challenges I face on a daily basis. But I try to not dwell on the price of rent or the fact that I’m just not clicking with the crowd in DC, cause I am living the exact life I pictured when I caught my flight to the East Coast. Sure it took a year before I found a decent paying job and semi affordable apartment, but hey, it was worth waiting for. The point of all of this was to remind you that life isn’t as simple as all those listsicles make it out to be, people who travel often than you are most likely broke and lonely half the time, and it’s perfectly normal to have to settle for less for a greater purpose. So ignore people who tell you how it’s so important to be single in your twenties or move to a new city, do what works for you, because at the end of the day nobody’s happiness is more important than your own.
Have you ever made a major life change to be happier overall? What’s the biggest risk you’ve taken, and did it work out in the end?
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Beginning November 1st I start the process of mourning the passing of my favorite time of the year, consoling myself with the only thing I have, candy I bought at 70% off retail price. Halloween time has always been my favorite season, with the fun not being limited to one day in my life. As a young child I would start thinking about what I was going to dress up as and what neighborhoods I was going to trick or treat in. When I aged into my teenage years I spent even more time thinking about my costume and trying to figure out a way I could still trick or treat in my favorite neighborhoods without being judged. Now 23, Halloween hasn’t become about how sexy of a costume I can pull off or how many parties I can get invited to, it’s much more about celebrating the season the way I used to when I was a child. With most people my age RSVP’ing to events and shopping for the most trendy costumes, I’m at home carving pumpkins with my boyfriend and visiting local haunted corn mazes. Halloween now and forever will be not only my favorite holiday, but my favorite time of the year. With every month having a some sort of event, October really takes the crown for being fun for the whole family, or the single millions of us who just want an excuse to eat lots of candy and watch teenagers make bad decisions.
As terrible as it sounds, spending some time in the library will save you so much stress later. Taking the time to read over your coursework. work on those projects and focus on studying for exams means less time doing all those tasks at home. If you have the time now, save your time away from campus for actual fun activities. While you’re in the library you can save money on textbooks by reading the textbooks on reserve or scanning yourself a PDF copy. I haven’t bought a textbook in years, all by taking advantage of the books my university placed on hold. To learn more about how to save money by not buying books, click here. The older I get the more I realize how important it is to keep yourself fed. Since you’re most likely stressed, running around campus and running off ramen noodles, use some free time to grab an actual meal between classes. Plus, isn’t there some study by someone that you learn better when you’re well fed?
Most years I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving because I’m an incredibly picky eater who rather order a pizza than have to deal with cleaning up the mess afterwards. Having not been home for Thanksgiving for the past five years, I’ve almost forgotten what dishes you traditionally find on the table. This year my boyfriend and I are both away from family for the holiday, so I decided to be the strong independent woman I know I can be and cook a dinner for two. Well, shout orders at my boyfriend until I get frustrated and just do it all myself. Before all that fun can happen I had to go shop for the ingredients, and again, I’m a picky eater who hasn’t celebrated the holiday in years. This is what happened…
I’d like to say to myself that 2016 started off with a bang, but I can’t. My first day of the new year was spent crying, questioning the decisions that have led me to where I am today, and calling just about everyone in my phonebook for strength. Facebook time hop reminded me that two years ago today I was also crying, but for very different reasons. January 2, 2013 I was boarding a flight to London, something I spent months working for and even more months anticipating. The time I spent living in the United Kingdom sparked in me a love for traveling, which eventually led to me relocating to Washington DC after college graduation, falling in love and slowly realizing my dream wasn’t as perfect as I imagined. Last year on New Year’s day I spent my time wandering the streets of Northwest DC, taking photos on a disposable camera and still believing that if I worked hard enough everything would fall into place. New Year’s 2015 I had a boyfriend who loved me, roommates to talk to when I got home, and barely enough money to pay my monthly bills. A year later I find myself in a much better job, enjoying every moment of my graduate program, but completely alone. If I could go back and talk to myself at the start of last new year, I would warn that version of me that giving all your time to a group of people who have zero interest in getting to know you will only lead to one day feeling as if you are completely alone in a room full of people. Committing yourself a relationship where you are always the first to call, apologize and move forward will only lead to you waking up one day exhausted, unloved and unaware of where to go next. This new year I finally began to listen to what my friends back home had been saying for months, and I finally listened to my gut instinct and realized nothing was ever going to change as long as I was the only one willing to admit change needed to occur. Unfortunately I spent 2015 supporting a man who gradually lost all respect for me, making small talk with people who were openly rude to me, and laying in bed at night wondering why no matter how hard I tried to make the people around me like me, they never did. Washington DC has been my dream since my 8th grade visit, and like an idiot I believed that my dream was possible while also spending time with people whose idea of fun was my nightmare. I cant count the number of hours I have spent sitting in a bar, making smalltalk with small minded people, inhaling secondhand smoke, and just wishing that just one of them would give me an ounce of chance to show them I wasn’t all the bad things everyone assumed I was. If I could show this letter to me in 2015, I would write in all capitals that it’s better to spend my nights alone than to spend them crying on my bathroom floor while someone sat in the next room without a care. I cant say for sure if things will get any better in 2016, but I am in control of the people I allow to into my life. So for now I am alone in a city full of people, but at the very least I can come home and not worry about what argument I’m going to fall into, what someone is going to say about me as I step away to the restroom, or what innocent gesture will be considered rude. If I could talk to the version of me on January 1, 2015, I’d tell her that nothing is going to get better as long as I continue on the same path. So starting today I’ve removed myself from the people who openly dislike me, I’ve quit trying to convince a man that I am worth respecting and I will do everything in my power to take back the dream I had at 13 years old, the one where I’m a strong, independent woman, with her own apartment in the city, a cat to cuddle with at night, and friends to call on when she’s grown bored of sitting at home.
While I can’t magically give you work experience or an amazing recommendation letter, I can take my experience with working at an organization that focused on unemployment to warn you about the all too common resume mistakes people make that leave their resume in the ‘no’ pile. Let’s not waste a single moment more and get to talking about all the things you want to avoid doing before submitting your next job application… While it may be hard for us to understand, this is an HR manager’s pet peeve. Typing at the bottom of your resume, ‘references upon request,’ is not only unnecessary, but sometimes redundant. Many applications today have you include references as part of the application, making the line completely unnecessary. For those applications that don’t initially ask for references, the hiring manager already knows you will be willing to provide references. You want the job, don’t you? Again, this is a small thing that bothers anyone who spends their day looking at resumes all day. If you include the month in one date range, make sure you include the month in all date ranges. For example, if I write I worked at Google from Sep 2012-Aug 2015, but my college dates are 2010-2014, the formatting is not the same. Fix it! It’s so simple yet such an eye sore when done wrong.
Not understanding why our photos are always so dark, …or worse, yellow! The irritation that comes with trying to get the perfect flat lay. 
Spending hours on a post that get’s minimal page views while another blogger writes the same thing and has it go viral. Trying to explain to your friends why they can’t eat their food yet. Having a collection of half used notebooks. And an even bigger collection of post its, notepads and every pen in the Target One Spot section. 
The worry that comes with your boss finding your blog. The anxiety of the new guy you’re dating finding your blog.
Never being fully satisfied with your blog design. Pretending like you totally understand StumbleUpon. Your most ordinary post pulling in all the page views, and you have no clue why! The stress of feeling like you need to post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and whatever new social media is cool that month. 
Posting your contact info and waiting for the sponsorship opportunities to start rolling in…*total silence* The embarrassment that comes with using the same stock photo the same week as a blogger you follow. Never knowing what to say in your About Me. Watching a new blogger get really popular and sitting at home wondering why. 
The whole niche versus no niche argument. Having read dozens of WordPress versus Blogger posts. And being strongly on one side of the debate. Just wanting to find an Instagram aesthetic you can stick to, and enjoy! The feeling of a post you worked really hard on getting genuine comments. 
Just because you’re both introverts doesn’t mean you can’t go out and enjoy what your city has to offer. The trick is to choose an activity that doesn’t require a lot of interaction with other people in the area. Below are some dates you can go on that won’t require you to talk to people once you get there.
May 30, 2024
How to Move on From a Relationship Without Closure | When Life Gives You Rubi
maximios Blog
I’ve said it one and I’ll say it a hundred times more, breaks up are fucking hard. Worse than exams, more painful than doing your taxes, way more terrible than blowing an interview for a job you totally wanted. Doesn’t matter how long you were together and if the two of you were never meant to be, they suck through and through and anyone who denies it is a liar. The good part is, that feeling does’t last forever, even though it may feel like it might. If you’ve ever been through a breakup you know the typical stages of finally admitting it’s happening, saying the words, then slowly going your own way? But what if you just skip all that? What if the terrible feeling is just multiplied because the whole breakup was a total surprise to you? Or worse, there’s no closure! Girl, I get it. If I could have minored in anything in college it would be in minor in bouncing back from relationships I probably should have never been in. The worst type of breakup is the kind that leaves you hanging, for an explanation, a final goodbye, or just a fucking apology.Everyone deserves closure, a moment to tell someone how much it all meant to them, to express their hurt and wish each other well despite it all. Unfortunately not every gets this basic human right, because anyone who has ever been hurt knows that relationships are never fair. One person always gives more, compromises more, loves more.
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Coming to terms with the fact that your relationship is the most difficult part, especially when a big part of you wants to call, text and email them until you get some sort of response. Once you’ve moved past the point of denial, letting your new status settle in your mind is a big step towards moving on with your life. If you bottle it up it will all burst out of you at the worst moment, like on the subway home when you see a couple happily carrying groceries home. Avoid unnecessary triggers by feeling all your emotions at once. Call a friend, call an acquaintance, call anyone who will let you vent and cry for as long as you need. While some people say you need to stay strong I’m a strong advocate of letting yourself mourn the end of a relationship.
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This may be completely strange but since I was fourteen I’ve taken the time to document each breakup, diary style. Writing down how you feel in the moment, what words were said in anger and the last words exchanged are all valuable steps to take. There will come a time when you forget the small details and begin to fantasize about all the best moments, but having in writing the way you felt when it was fresh will prevent you from making the same mistake twice. You know how I said you need to break down? Well you cant lay on the kitchen floor forever, I mean cmon, it’s not like you cut someone’s lvad wire. Once youre done crying it out for a few days and chronicling your failed love story, turn all that sadness into anger because you’re about to give yourself a kick in the ass. Remind yourself of every annoying thing they did, unfair argument they used and all the times they just let you down. I’m serious, you better get in touch with your bitter side if you’re gonna make it through this.
Chances are that you fell into a routine with your significant other, and their absence is going to lead you to miss all the things you used to do together. Move your furniture around, toss out any unnecessary reminders of them and start visiting places that are covered in memories of the two of you. Trust me, eventually you can go back to your favorite bar, but for now stick to places that wont leave you reminiscing.
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We’re all guilty of neglecting our friends when a new boy comes into our lives, and thankfully they are always there for us when said boy ends up being just temporary. Surround yourself with people who love you while also making an effort to meet new people. Having people to call on during those lonely days and long weekends without plans will be so beneficial to moving on. Closer means something different to everyone. To me, I need a conversation to flesh out why things went the way they did. But I’m a therapist, so you could say I enjoy talking for hours about less than happy things. Figure out what closure what be to you if you could have it, and once you know, give it to yourself. If you wanna have a talk, grab a friend and do that with them. If you need a reason, make a list of all the things that made you less than a perfect pair. Define what closure means, get what you can, then begin to heal and learn for your next love, cause there will be a next love.