August 2025

When I packed up all my dorm gear and hoped in my mom’s car for the 400 mile drive to my university I was only worried about one thing, my two new roommates. Yes, I was one of the unlucky few that had to share a shoe box sized room with two strangers, and to make it more difficult, they were best friends both named Jessica. And no, neither one of them went my Jessie or Jess, just Jessica After just a few days I fell in love with both of them, but I was lucky. My next door neighbor spent her entire first semester begging campus housing to reassign her, which never happened. College roommates are a hit or miss, and while most people won’t be terrible, eventually you will get housed with someone who finds a way to push your buttons like no one ever has before. Instead of freaking out until you eventually hate coming home at the end of the day, take steps to fix the problem on your own, and if that doesn’t work call in some reinforcements. I am very guilty of freaking out in the moment and going off on people, but hey, I had my reasons. Instead of doing this take time to relax because no one wants to be criticized by someone who is throwing insults at them that probably have nothing to do with the situation. Even if your roommate is a loud slob who never flushes the toilet, stay on topic girl, or at least don’t bring it up till you dial down your feelings. You don’t need to pack up and move out but I do recommend you not spend all this time around someone you cant stand, especially if they have no clue what’s bothering you. Whether you get away for a few hours or a few days, space gives you an opportunity to calm down and think over what’s bothering you. Plus, being surrounded by the person who is bothering you in ways they aren’t even aware of is only going to annoy you more.

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The worse feeling in the world is when someone corners you with a conversation you weren’t ready to have. Letting your roommate know that you want to sit down and talk about xyz gives them a chance to gather their thoughts and think about any issues they might have as well. Setting up a specific time means neither one of you can back out or act is if you have no idea where all these opinions are coming from. Writing down what exactly is causing you to be unhappy in your living situation will help you realize what doesn’t really need to be mentioned and what thing bothers you the most. Plus, if you’re just listing things as you go, you’re much more likely to bring up things that are either out of their control or you have no right to ask of them. Make a list, it will keep the talk on topic. This isn’t applicable to everything but more often than not it’s a step towards a resolution. If your roommate loves to have people over and you can’t stand having company, instead of complaining about the constant visitors suggest that their be a set time that you are okay with having people over. By doing this you both can come to a resolution in that moment instead of saying you’ll figure it out but never actually do anything about it.

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Oh you thought you were the perfect roommate? You’re not. Whether you lose way too much hair or have a bad habit of leaving your purse by the door, I’m sure you annoying quirks too. By letting your roommate know you want to talk about some issues you’re having you are also giving them an opportunity to speak on the things bothering them. So listen up! If after all this nothing changes, there’s no shame in calling in a third party to help solve your issue. Sure your RA can’t make your roommate talk on the phone less, but if your problem is something larger or makes your living situation undesirable, they definitely can step in. If you live in the real world where there isn’t an RA down the hall and your landlord would slam the door in your face if you ever told him your roomies won’t do their dishes, good luck girl, I’ve been there. If you have crappy roommates and are living in an apartment/house with people you found on Craigslist, forget everything I said and just get even. Also maybe look into a new living situation.

Did you have any roommate drama while you were in college? Leave me your best horror story and I’ll share one of mine!

Last week was registration, which means everyone on my campus woke up early to get online by 8am sharp. With classes being so small at my university, space is seriously limited. Thankfully I was able to get all the courses I needed, even though I slept in way more than I had planned. Whose bright idea was it to make class registration the Monday after daylights saving?

In the moment I didn’t put much thought into the process, mostly focused on grabbing the classes I needed and calculating how much this semester was going to cost me. Hint: a lot. Another hint: don’t bother with the whole, “I’m gonna save money for grad school then apply,” cause it will never happen. Okay maybe it can, but not in just a couple of years.

Later in the week I realized I couldn’t remember what classes I needed to make sure I enrolled in for fall, so after spending some time looking for the academic catalog for my program, I realized what I had been missing all along.

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Holy shit balls. I might not have said this out loud, but it’s exactly how I was feeling. There was no next semester. There was no next time registration comes around. This was it. Almost three years and a whole bunch of jobs and tears laters, I was at the end of my grad program.

I’m not sure if you’ve caught any of my grad school posts before, but graduate school has not been a fun experience for me. With my program being discontinued. having to survive financially in the city, and adjusting to life without a support system, grad school was a thing I felt like was never gonna end. Which is maybe why I forgot I was almost at the finish line.

Apparently if I am able to earn all my hours with my clients by August 27th, I’m done! As in, put on a cap and gown and walk across the stage done! This piece of reality has lit a serious fire under my ass and motivated me in a way I didn’t think was possible midway through spring semester. If you’re feeling the lull of winter not ending or the next three day weekend being too far away, below are some ways I keep motivated to power on through the hard parts.
Rubi three years ago didn’t need self care. She spent her time eating anything she wanted without gaining weight and napping at her convenience. Rubi today does the same thing, except the weight gain causes her to get inside her own mind and shit goes wrong from there. Self care is so important, especially if you work a job or have a lifestyle where so much of your day is taken up by other people and tasks that don’t directly benefit you. Set aside some time in the morning for self care, and check out my Pinterest board for a never ending list of ideas of how to practice self care in your twenties. This is something I’ve been doing since I was like eight years old, and trust me, it works. Whether you just need to finish an assignment or something bigger like graduate college, designating a reward helps keep you motivated until the end. In my case, I always choose a trip, whether it be a weekend getaway or international vacation. My reason for always choosing a trip is because you get to plan it, which is a self care activity in my opinion. Goals are 150% more likely to be reached if you tell someone about them. Okay, I just made that up, but it sounds real, right? Telling your best friend or boyfriend about what you’re working on not only makes you accountable to them, they can help keep you on track when you start slacking. For example, if you wanna drink less nights out of the week, telling your bestie or boyfriend gives them the opportunity to remind you of your goal and prevent them from tempting you in the first place.

You might also like: A 10 Step Plan on How to Have Your Best Year Ever Remember when playlist lived on CDs that we burned at home and labeled with sharpie markers? Well today they are way easier to make, so why doesn’t anyone make them anymore? Jump onto Spotify, pull a bunch of your favorite songs from the past ten years, and only play that playlist when you need motivation! This way you won’t be bored of them when you need them, and they’ll feel like a special treat when you do get to hear them. Back to my school situation. I started my grad program well over two years go. Life circumstances, aka money, made me have to switch to a slower track towards graduation. Sure, I probably could have made it happen in less time, but I would have been miserable. If you come to realize you need extra time or to even reframe your goal, don’t feel bad about it. Works towards what works for you, cause at the end of the day, you should enjoy the journey just as much as the end result. Have you started or completed a grad program? If so, how was the process for you or what are you most nervous about?? Let me know in the comments below!

It’s a few minutes past 9am on a Sunday morning and I am sitting at work. I don’t usually work weekends, actually I never work weekends, but I made a promise to live my life more for me in 2016, and it turns out me likes to do fun things, and fun things require money. So I’m sitting at work at 9am on a Sunday morning.

Today is a leap day which I find very exciting, and I know it happens every four years, but how awesome is it that every four years we just get an extra day to live? I know calendars are man made and we aren’t really getting anything “extra” but let’s just enjoy the fact that this year is 366 days long instead of 365. Unfortunately my extra day will be spent at work, because the 29th falls on a Monday (boo). So instead I am celebrating my extra 24 hours this year by committing to something I wouldn’t usually do in the future. My celebrating will have to wait because grown ups can’t just call off work for no reason other than wanting to enjoy leap day.

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If you are lucky enough to have the day off then I am all for you taking advantage of it, and if not, here are some ways to enjoy the feeling of anything can happen that comes along with leap year, but on a day that’s more suitable for you and all your adult responsibilities. Concerts are this thing that we all wanted to attend when we were younger but either didn’t have the money or permission to go. Now as twenty somethings we put up excuses like ticket prices or being too tired for a concert on a Wednesday night. Skip a night at the bar and use that money instead for an actual experience, trust me, you won’t regret it. Are you unhappy in your current relationship? Do something about it! Every time I think about all the gut feelings I got in my last relationship I get so irritated I didn’t just blurt out one time how incredibly unhappy I felt at time. If you’re on the other end and can’t stand to spend another Friday night without a date, take a step towards changing that. Download an app, ask your friend to set you up or simply strike up a conversation with the next cute person you cross paths with.

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I swear I’m not sponsored by Groupon, I just really love how they have so many things you would normally pay full price for at a discount. Treat yourself on this extra day by booking a massage, fancy dinner or an all inclusive trip. It’s crazy how inexpensive travelling with a Groupon voucher can be, seriously, look it up. You’ll be reconsidering whether or not you have the money to travel after just a few scrolls. We all make new year’s resolutions whether we choose to broadcast them over social media or not. With us being only two months into the new year it’s not too late to start taking steps towards meeting our goals or checking in to see our progress. I can admit that the past week of work was so busy that I haven’t written a single post or replied to any comments or emails, but without taking time to reflect on my slips, I wouldn’t know in what areas of my blog I needed to focus on more to continue towards my ultimate goal.

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Jumping out of an airplane is not what I’m implying, unless you’re into that sort of thing. What I mean is that you do that thing you always want to but talk yourself out of. We all have a restaurant we want to try to or movie we want to see, but we let the lack of support or enthusiasm from those around us. On Wednesday I am going to a concert alone, to see a band I never head of before a few months ago, with the tickets I bought my now ex-boyfriend. The old me would have sold them or just given them away to avoid going to a rock concert by myself, but I’m trying to live a little more, so I’ll be there, a good 10 ft away from any potential mosh pits.

Are you doing anything special for leap day? If so, let me know what you have planned in the comments below!

I feel as if I took a very long vacation, except it was anything but. Within the past three months I moved myself and all my favorite belongings across the country to live and work in Washington DC, did what I was supposed to do there and then lugged all my junk back to California to attend my college graduation. Time honestly flew by so quickly, and having never worked a 9 to 5 job meant I came home too tired to even think about logging onto my blog.

Now as a recent college grad with no job and strangely no deadlines hanging over my head, I’m super excited to put all my energy into my blog. (And hopefully figure out what the heck I’m doing with my life along the way.) Coming back to my blog has been as strange as moving back home. I cant quite remember how things were before my departure, which might explain why it took me a few minutes to log into my Bloglovin account and even longer to find where my mom had decided to store the baking sheet.

While I’ve been writing during my entire disappearance, the audience was much different and the topic was much more…depressing. (More on this later.) Returning back to the blogger community has felt a lot like coming back to my hometown after years of living somewhere else.

The biggest worry I’ve had throughout my entire absence from blogging and my hometown has been if anyone has even noticed my hiatus. I constantly read blog posts about people apologizing for taking a break from blogging, and in reality, I would have never noticed had they not pointed it out. Maybe it’s because I try to keep up with a ridiculous amount of blogs but, when a blogger decides to take a leave of absence for whatever reason, I almost never take notice.

The same feeling applies for returning home after spending the past four years in college and traveling. I anxiously wonder if I’ll have anyone to catch up with after being away for so long. The answer is no. Life and friends have moved on without me, which is understandable under my conditions.

The most frustrating part about returning has to be having to relearn the most simple things. It took me too long for comfort to figure out which way I needed to turn the key to get into my home the other day, which proves how much time I’ve spent away these past four years. Same goes for my blogging routine. Remembering to check my Bloglovin, Google Friend Connect, Twitter and so many other accounts is overwhelming when you’ve lost habit of keeping up with so many people. Don’t get me wrong, I love keeping up with all your amazing blogs, but when I make a list of all the blog related tasks I need to do in a day, it can seem a little crazy. Even though it seems as if I’m having to relearn everything, I’m beyond excited to get back in the habit of writing (and publishing) regularly! Soon my blog will be flaunting a new and improved blog design, plus a ton of content I dreamed up while sitting in my drab cubicle those past ten weeks.

Hopefully I’m not just talking to myself, but if I am, that’s alright by me.

PS I’m Writing About This is a column that will highlight some of the colorful conversations I have with friends, strangers and inanimate objects in my daily life…

I spent my winter break how any average female in her early twenties should, lounging on the couch watching basic cable television with my mom. Correction, I was lounging, my mother was busy judging me for spending another day in leggings and probably warming up some tortillas. On one of these ordinary days we were waiting to hear the verdict on a court case, it was a real edge of your seat situation.

It was some neighbor dispute that lead to someone vandalizing something, the usual. Right before the decision was announced the television decided to start screaming bloody murder, followed by some words sliding across the screen. And in that moment my mom flew into a rage. 

Apparently this happens “all the time,” even though I explained to her the message specifically said it was a weekly announcement. My mom being completely uninterested in what I had to say continued to rant about once a week being too often and that she wished it would just go away. While she continued to be over dramatic about a weekly PSA taking too much of her time, I began to tune her out and got to thinking about other things that happen way too often. 

Below is my list of things that need to get their act together and think about taking a day off.

» Public Service Announcements. I don’t know exactly what they are announcing but they are doing no one a favor by interrupting our favorite shows with that loud buzzing sound. (We never did find out if the neighbor had to pay for the damage.)

» Periods. I’m not having sex often enough to need a monthly reminder that my womb is empty. My empty bed is reminder enough.

» Low battery. How do we have phone that have touchscreens, mini projectors, work virtually everywhere but can’t have a battery life that lasts longer than 15 hours. Priorities people!

» Birth control. Taking birth control on a daily basis (when you’re not having sex) is a lot like stocking up on nonperishable food in case of an apocalypse. Expensive and unnecessary. Plus, either scenario, our life is over. 

» Midterms. ‘Mid‘ means middle, meaning there should only be one midterm per course. Is there some second meaning I and Google are unaware of because most professors love midterms, so much that they have 2-3 per semester. Change the name or change the syllabus! 

» Crushes. I wish I could just turn off my emotions, or at least dial them down a notch. “My name is Rubi, and I am emotionally slutty.” I have someone new on my mind about as often as those public service announcements my mom hates, but in my defense, all these relationships I’m juggling are purely in my mind. 

» Name changes. If you are one of those users on Instagram, Twitter or god forbid Facebook that changes their name about as often as you post….stop. Nobody cares what your user name is enough for you to change it that often. Plus it makes it very difficult to tag you in a photo when we have to figure out what your name of the week is. 

If you have anything that happens more often than necessary you can leave it in a comment below. That or the link to a cute cat gif, either one. You can never have too many cats gifs. 

I didn’t want to write this post. Actually, scratch that, I didn’t want to publish this post. Hitting publish meant a bunch of people would know of my intentions for  the next sixty days and totally judge me next time I posted a photo of a delicious pizza on Instagram.

Okay I’m gonna be 100% honest, I ate pizza just four hours ago, but I didn’t even enjoy it, I swear! My boyfriend is super into eating out, like it’s one of his favorite things to do. That new hobby coupled with my IUD means a lot of my clothes have been not fitting me comfortably, and if I wanna be totally transparent, some I can’t even button.

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To be honest, I don’t know if the weight gain is from the hormones or the food, but either way it’s gotta go. I’ve been feeling sluggish lately, and I really rather not drag this feeling with me into the new season. On top of everything, I just booked a flight for my birthday and fourth of July, to an area I rather not have to cover my new rolls with loose tshirts. No disrespect to loose tshirts, they’ve done a lot for me the past few months. The thing is though, I’m very anti-diet. I’m a firm believer that if you want to improve your health or change your body type, whatever your goal is, it needs to be a lifestyle change. Since I’m already a picky eater cutting out certain foods is out of the question. Obviously I’ll avoid pizza, but none of that no carb, low fat, mumo jumbo. As a therapist I’m very self aware, of everything from my emotions to my eating habits. Because of my constant self analyzing I know two things: Candy is basically a food group in my life, I have a hard time saying not to soda and I get cravings that are so intense they make me get out of bed, put on a bra and walk to 7 Eleven at 11:30 at night. True story, recent story, okay it was just last week!
While I enjoy being physically active, I loathe the idea of working out. For this reason I need to find an activity that gets me moving but doesn’t feel like exercise. I’m thinking either pilates or bicycling, or both if I really wanna blow myself away.

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So here’s the challenge, I’m basically going to try to be less of a terrible example for myself. This means getting myself moving, drinking some actual freaking water, and learning to say no to high calorie foods. Today was the perfect example of me eating a meal I was neither excited for nor enjoying, so why did I do it!? Oh yeah, because my boyfriend likes pizza and I didn’t want to run his Sunday afternoon. Somewhere over the next 60 days I want to find the balance of eating well and not intruding on my social life, suggestions are welcome. I have just a few more hours until day 1 begins, so I’m going to make the most of it by finishing all the marshmallows and drinking a coke! Just kidding, I won’t do that, even though I desperately want to. Did I mention we just bought four cases of soda? This may be harder than I had planned for…

How do you manage to say not to unneeded calories? Also, do you have any recommendations for free or low cost online exercise routines? 

I have less than three weeks before I move out of my college apartment and don’t come back…like ever. With studying abroad my junior year and working hard enough to graduate early, it feels as if I slightly missed out on the typical four year college experience.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change a thing, but sometimes I think I’ve had senioritis since my junior year. This is a post for everyone in their last year of college, and for those of you lucky enough to just be beginning this amazing time in your life. 

Dressing up for class? Hah! You’re lucky these are a clean pair of leggings.

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You know every corner of your campus, and exactly how to avoid all people with petitions and flyers.

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No longer bothering to wave at people you met freshmen year in the dorm.

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“No I don’t wanna go there tonight, it’s full of too many over excited freshmen.”

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You’ve graduated from drinking alcohol from a giant communal bowl. Wine is more of your thing now.

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“My last first day of school!”

Your (last) first anything really!

Being a senior means you get the perfect schedule. Having class more than three times a week is no longer a requirement.

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Late for class…?

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Campus policies?

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For all those people you meet at orientation week four years ago.

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You basically know everyone’s name in your department, you’ve sat in the same courses with them since freshmen year.

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Being stuck taking all the classes you’ve been avoiding since freshmen year.

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Watching freshmen be confused by the most simple things.

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You don’t even bother to get mad when you cant find parking. It’s just the way it is…

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Bookstore? Lulz. Why pay full price when there’s Amazon and the option to scan the pages from the books at the library.

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“This isn’t the kind of paper you can finish the night before.” Challenge accepted. And I up your challenge by not even bothering to read the book.

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You don’t even bother going home during the holidays anymore. Your college friends are your family..

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And trying to keep up with your old high school friends?

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How does one even go about finding a job?

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Maybe you’ll just go to grad school to avoid real world problems..

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Except picking a bachelors degree was hard enough, what the heck should you master in??

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You still haven’t gotten around to learning how to cook. Ramen for life!

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So after the best years of our life, what happens?

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But one thing never changes, group projects are the worst.

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Masters degrees. Or should I call them the new bachelors? Whatever you think of them, they’re gaining popularity each year. I remember my senior year of college and learning that most of my friends were suddenly interested in earning another degree. Here I was under the impression that we were all going to move home and look for jobs.
When I graduated college many of my friends enrolled in a masters program to avoid the real world, ie, applying to those jobs we had been dreading. Two months at home led me to have to make a choice, live with my mom who enjoys orange juice with pulp (ew no) or move away once again and continue my education. Sure I had the option to just move away and get a job, but to be honest, I was scared.

I could have spent months or years working in a job that would have given me some sort of experience, and in a way I did do that, but my ultimate end goal has always been to be a therapist. And you just can’t be a therapist without a masters. So I did the only thing I thought I could do, I entered a masters programs (and I got a job or two along the way).

Related Post: Advice for New College Graduates

Here’s the thing though, I fucking hated every minute of it, and that’s putting it lightly. It wasn’t the coursework that made me incredibly unhappy, it was the entire process. The campus, the requirements on my time, and the nagging feeling that kept telling me how much I was missing out on because of constant coursework.

Before I started my masters I did what I always do, Googled searched like a mofo to find what other people thought of their schools, their programs, and the process as a whole. What I found led me to believe I was making the right decision, and even though I don’t regret it, I cant sit here and tell you I’d want to do it again. So let’s talk about it, the reasons why I hated every minute of earning my masters. 

I have so many emotions I don’t even know where to begin. It also doesn’t help that I took my exit exam just yesterday so I’m really riding that it’s-finally-over wave. I’ll start with the smallest thing, the lack of community.

This mistake was all mine, so I am in no way blaming my institution or my fellow peers for why I felt so isolated throughout this process. I applied to the school I attended because I wanted to avoid paying extra student fees for things like recreation centers and division one sports. I’ve already had the classic college experience, so I wanted nothing more than my classes and basic student fees to affect my tuition. Well, I got exactly what I asked for.

My school had a complete lack of spirit, like zero, nada, none. I don’t even own a tshirt with my school’s name on it. Campus life was nonexistent since our campus is located in a building within downtown Washington DC. On top of no actual campus grounds, any campus events were typically held during typical work hours, meaning I had zero chance to attend. I was able to meet and interact with people while in classes, and while I’ve enjoyed most everyone I’ve gotten to know, I’d be lying to myself if I said I made lifelong friends. The thing is, at my school I was very much a minority, and being a minority made it hard to connect with those in my program. I’m sure I could have overcame that obstacle had I had more time to attend events or be more involved, but working two jobs it just never happened for me.

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This piece of my graduate experience really made all the other problems feel 10x bigger, and although I’m a future therapist, it can still be hard to talk myself into thinking rationally. When applying to universities I knew the impact the staff would have on my experience, especially when you are juggling multiple responsibilities outside of school. Unfortunately my school’s staff had very different ideas of what my priorities should be, at one point encouraging I quit my job in order to be able to enroll in a certain class. Like, what kind of advice is that? On top of not being able to relate to student struggles, staff at my school felt as if they were difficult to reach, and even harder to get on your side. My advice for anyone thinking about accepting a school’s offer, whether it be undergrad or grad school, is to talk to current students outside of your campus tour. Talking to current students will get you unedited information on the campus climate that you wont find in the testimonials online or on campus grounds. Before finishing my graduate exams I used to think this problem was very specific to me, but as time went on I realized just how many people were dealing with the same shit I was. The job market wants you to have continued education yet doesn’t allow you the flexibility to attain that education, while many universities are not catering to students who need to work while attending school. It’s a classic double bind and for three years I was caught in the middle of it. I began my graduate career as a full time student working two jobs. I did that for about six months until I was completely burnt out. After quitting one job I continued to attend school full time for another six months while working a job full time. A change in my school’s course offerings led me to have to make a decision, either work or school would have to be full time. Being surrounded by media and individuals who seemed to be able to do it all discouraged me completely, leaving me feeling like a total failure when I chose to work full time and attend school part time for a little over a year. Fast forward to about a year ago when I decided to flip the script, quitting my job altogether to attend school full time in order to get the horrible process over with already! Here’s the point, if you’re lucky you’ll find a school or job that is flexible, and if you’re extremely lucky they both will be. Yes, online masters are always an option, but based on my experience they require more work, are more difficult, and will greatly increase your stress levels.

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The goal was to title this section was going to be fear of missing out, ie FOMO, but let’s be real for a second. I wasn’t fearing missing out, I was missing out. College friend reunions, Sunday brunches, trips back home, all of that time was soaked up by the fact I either had to be focusing on schoolwork or my actual job to be able to continue going to school. For the longest time my life was either attending school and finishing my assignments or working my ass off to be able to afford the tuition. Any extra free time was spent with my significant other or taking a moment to myself to breathe, and even that time was merely just a few hours on the weekend. Anyone who has completed a masters program knows the struggle that comes with wanting to enjoy your life but also having the responsibility of homework on top of work and familial responsibilities. Those of us who can manage it all and still come out alive are a special breed, and I seriously commend you for being able to get through it because I know it wasn’t easy. Is that heading clear enough for you? No part of me was prepared for how expensive a masters degree would be, with even less preparation for how to manage tuition and high rent prices in a city like Washington DC. Now at the end of my masters I’m amazed I never missed a rent payment, but lemme tell you, it wasn’t easy. Sometime in the future I want to write a post on budgeting, teaching others how I curbed my need to impulse shop, lived off of my savings for a year, and overall managed to still enjoy my life will giving all my money to that thing we call tuition. In all seriousness though, be prepared to spend a lot. There are ways to save but I’d be lying if I said the financial aid was the same as it was in undergrad. To help make ends meet I stopped buying books altogether, yep, I didn’t buy a single book during my graduate degree. To read how I managed without buying the required textbooks, click here. You might think this relates to fear of missing out, and in some ways it does, but not always. Jealousy is that painful feeling you get in your gut when you envy a person but somehow pity yourself more. For example, last week I was stressing over my piles of flashcards and feeling like my brain was gonna slide out of my head. Meanwhile my boyfriend was laying on the couch, scrolling Twitter and eating chips too loudly in my opinion. After a long day at work for both of us, I got to come home and study, he got to literally lean back and relax. These are the moments when you have to stay focused on what your end goal is, whatever it may be. Yes it sucks that you cant come home and just chill or spend your extra money on a night out, but in a few years you’ll be thanking yourself that you didn’t put it off till later. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. Okay, so there you have it, the reasons why I hated every minute of earning my masters. Despite all my problems, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy my classes or the opportunity to interact with my professors and classmates. My internship experience taught me more than the three years of taking coursework, with my clients progress being the motivation I need to push myself towards graduation in the fall. If you’re considering applying for a masters program, my best advice is to go into it with a realistic perspective. Knowing the time, energy and money you will have to commit is the first step to not getting burnt out fast, second being finding a support group of people who are going through the same stuff as you.

Like always, if you have any questions about anything I mentioned or the process overall, feel free to visit my contact page to find out how you can reach me for more advice, resources, or just a person to vent to when financial aid puts you on hold for an hour.

Are you thinking about applying to grad school? If so, what questions do you have? And if you’ve already attended, what’s a piece of advice you wish someone had told you before enrolling?

Living alone was one of the few times when I felt like I was really growing up. Dorming was fun and the independence I had was great, but I was never truly alone. I had an RA to take care of me when I got locked out and an amazing dining hall staff to cook me breakfast, lunch and dinner. (Never mind that I always slept through breakfast.)

This past summer I finally lived alone, truly alone. Away from all my friends. Not in the type of apartment complex that constantly has someone on staff in case I lock myself out of an emergency. I had a two bedroom apartment all to myself and I finally realized what Taylor Swift meant about it being a little colder than I thought it would be. Like with everything there are pros and cons to living alone, and even though I loved the part where I didn’t have to wear pants, I certainly don’t think I’m ready to be in charge of checking the locks every night. Here are the 22 things you can expect to happen when you live alone.

1. You will lose weight. A combination of forgetting to buy groceries, over reliance on dining halls and your mom forgetting to remind you to eat.

2. The floor will become your hamper. Before you have company you have to pick up the piles of clothes that have accumulated next to your shower.

3. Pants are optional, unless you have company. Then I’m sure you will have some lying right where you took them off when you got home, the front door.

4. You don’t invite people over as often as you thought you would.

5. You’ll find yourself turning into your mom. Checking and rechecking the locks on all the door and windows every night.

6. Buying some sort of weapon is standard. That or adopting a large enough rock to crack skulls with chuck at someone in case of emergency.

7. Dance parties can and will happen at all times of the day and night.

8. Eventually you will forget to pay some bill. I can’t decide what’s worse, forgetting to pay for the internet or heating.

9. Days (or weeks) without social interaction will lead you to friend some bug or rodent in your home. You think I’m crazy now but wait until you find yourself talking to a spider.

10. You will eventually pee with the door open. Not at first, but eventually, you’ll wonder why you ever closed the door.

11. You will seriously consider getting a pet. The kittens at the pet store are only 40 dollars, that’s like one trip to Target!

13. ..and buy a fish! So low maintenance, super loyal.

But it dies. Fish always die, don’t blame yourself too much.

14. Remembering to buy groceries long after you run out of food.

15. Half of your food spoils when you do buy it anyways. 16. Marathon sessions of watching your favorite old TV shows.

17. You sometimes forget to buy the boring everyday stuff, like toilet paper and dish soap.

18. And when you do buy toilet paper it never quite makes it to the thing that’s supposed to hold it in place. 19. You will never find a fork/spoon when you need it. But don’t worry, you somehow have about 20 butter knives.

20. No more waiting for your roommate to get out of the shower when you have to pee!

21. No more compromising on what you want to watch on TV! Embrace your right to watch Lockup Raw. All. Day. Long.

22. And best of all, no more passive aggressive notes scattered throughout your apartment. Everything is your fault anyways.

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I’ve always been a small girl. Not in the endearing way where I barely meet height requirements or have a petite personality. More in the way where belts are a necessity and my thighs don’t touch. I am, and have as long as I can remember have been, a size zero.

When checking my email this week I received a message from Her Campus advertising their #LovingMe Project, which “celebrates the things we love about ourselves- unrelated to our physical appearance.” It being National Eating Disorders Awareness Week I decided to write about a topic that is never spoken about yet experienced by so many women. So here I am, writing to the masses about why being a size zero doesn’t guarantee happiness.

I’ve never had an eating disorder but I have been accused of having one many times in my life. Either by family, friends or medical professionals, it seems as if my life is a stream of situations where I’ve had to defend my choices to people who don’t know me very well. Being a size zero doesn’t mean you have zero problems, it can at times just mean people have zero interest in your problems.

There are the trivial reasons, the “problems” with being thin that sound so stupid once you see them written down. Issues that should probably be relabeled first world problems. You know, those things we like to complain about that cause us to roll our eyes moments after we say them aloud? Things such as size zero clothing hardly ever making it to the sale rack, stores like TJ Maxx barely stocking anything in our size and the all too common bloat we get from eating nothing more than a handful of chips. When your stomach is naturally flat, any food being in there likes to bloat you up. At least in my case. 

Then there are the actual downfalls to being a size zero, the thoughts and experiences that are silenced because according to others, “I should be grateful.” The root of these issues can begin to grow early, before we even knew how to dress ourselves or attach stigma to different body types.

My childhood was filled with compliments. From my shiny hair to how “tiny” I was, I was always the topic of discussion. As I got older my hair lost its luster and all I had to rely on was the low number on the scale.

When you grow up thin people begin to expect thin from you. Friends and relatives are more likely to comment if they feel your body shape has changed, even though their comments at times are no more than a way for them to make themselves feel better.

Every thin girl will tell you how often people comment on her size. Somewhere along the way it became wrong to make comments about people with extra weight, yet blatant remarks about “how skinny you look” have become normalized. Acceptable. “Compliments.”

There is a difference between complimenting someone on their weight when they are taking steps to try to change it versus making remarks on someone’s body type. Thin girls don’t choose to be thin just like heavy girls don’t choose to be heavy, so why the double standard in the way they are treated?

When did it become okay to openly discuss how thin a girl is but disrespectful to mention a friend has gained weight? The girls who swallow their words and scroll past the “real men don’t like bones” posts are the same girls who stand up for their larger friends. Where is the mutual support?

My senior year I fainted in class, was labeled anorexic and was found a therapist before the school day was over. Nobody bothered to ask my opinion, no one actually observed my eating habits. I wasn’t anorexic in the least. I was a heartbroken seventeen year old, worried about my college applications and stressing over the D I had received on my Calculus exam. Food wasn’t the problem, by that point, lunch was my favorite time of the day!

My entire life I had been silenced by everyone, finding it impossible to speak over everyone’s remarks about my body. In therapy I finally let it all out. My worries about not having a prom date, my grades, my non existent relationship with my sister, and how sick I was about everyone assuming they could diagnose me without even speaking to me. Three sessions later my therapist deemed I didn’t need her help or anyone else’s, wished me good luck on finding a prom date and choosing a university to attend. Only one of those decisions ended up being the right one.

What I learned from being labeled anorexic is how “other” it can make you feel. Even though I was completely healthy, both physically and mentally, the way people treated me completely changed. Principals  pulled me out of class to see how I was “doing”, teachers tiptoed around me and people who once chatted with me would turn silent when I walked into a room. Having an eating disorder or even being accused of having one makes you feel like you are on the outside of everything, because that’s where people place you.

Being a size zero sometimes feels a lot like those weeks in high school where my classmates wouldn’t even bother to whisper the rumors about me. To this day, friends will out of the blue remark on my waist, my thighs or how jealous they are. Yet they don’t take a moment to realize how the words they say affect my perception of myself. If everyone is so jealous of me, I must do everything I can to stay skinny, right?

Size zeroes are silenced, laughed at and ignored when they speak about how their weight negatively affects them. When you have what everyone wants, complaining about it sounds ludicrous. Nobody stops to realize that we didn’t ask for this and we sure as hell didn’t ask for your opinions on the subject, positive or not. Being a size zero doesn’t guarantee happiness. All you are guaranteed are a stream of comments on your body type and a lifetime of pressure to remain how everyone else perceives you. Skinny.