Senior year of college was a whirlwind of events. Between interning in Washington DC and planning for graduation, the thought of attending more years of school was the furthest thing on my mind. Then it happened suddenly, grad school was all anyone was talking about. Whether it was a genuine interest to advance their education or a desire to avoid the real world, people left and right were filling out graduate school applications and talking about it like it was the only possible option. In a moment of panic I too submitted a few applications, just in case I needed a back up to my plan to take a year off. Two months at home made me realize a year off would feel like an eternity, which is why within a week I accepted an offer at my current university, bought a plane ticket and signed the first lease I could find. Was it a rushed decision? Yes. But without it I wouldn’t be where I am today. With all that said, it’s been a complete rollercoaster, and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t wished I had waited a bit before jumping into more years of school. Below are the five benefits of not entering graduate school immediately after college graduation, as well as my reason for doing it despite the reasons below.
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It can be scary to graduate from college and begin to job hunt, especially when you have minimal work experience and no real clue of where to begin. As someone who had to get a job immediately after graduation I can completely relate, and trust me when I tell you that it’s not impossible. Don’t be afraid to take a job you feel your overqualified for, because some experience is better than nothing. Spending time in the workforce will give you skills you can’t get in any graduate program, so don’t minimize the benefits of skipping school and going straight to work.
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If you’re in any way unsure of what to earn a masters in, it’s better to take time to be sure instead of spending money on the wrong program. Graduate school is substantially more expensive than undergrad, so you want to make sure it’s the right degree you’re working towards. Spend some time researching various types of masters and the possible career paths each can lead to. Once you know what you want to study, make sure the school meets your qualifications. As much as I enjoy my program, I do have serious issues with my actual campus. Had I know then what I know now, I would have definitely picked a different university. Talk to current students, look up opinions of the program online, and don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions to admissions counselors. Did I mention graduate school can be expensive? Cause I think it’s worth mentioning again. If your plan is to go right after college, chances are you’ll need a loan to cover the costs, even if you work while in school. Compare the costs of different programs, as well as the cost of living in the city the campus is located. Taking time off not only gives you the opportunity to your research, but save money and apply for scholarships.
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If your program of choice is competitive, it may be of benefit to spend that year off gaining work and volunteer experience. Most college graduates have similar resumes, but a year is all it takes to gain life experience that can set you apart from the crowd. Talk to people who have already been admitted about what they did before attending the school for ideas on how to boost your chances of being accepted. Often I say I started a graduate school immediately after college because I was bored at home and my mom was pressuring me to figure my life out. While that is true, the other side is that I’ve known for a long time exactly what I want to do with my life. If you’re like me and have no hesitancy about your career path, go for it! My only advice is that you not sell yourself short. Don’t attend a school just because it’s the only one that let you in or that you can afford. Do your research, reach out to others and make sure to set yourself up to enjoy the process of earning your masters.
Are you considering grad school? Leave any questions or advice you have in the comments below!
Making friends as an adult is hard. By adult I mean anyone who is not attending college and is over the age of 21. You need at least three to four years to realize which of your high school friends will remain lifelong friends. Once you hit the milestone of living on your own, outside of a campus setting with a full time job taking up all your time, you realize that your social circle feels grows small quickly. Moving to the city was a major accomplishment in my life, with my entire college career leading towards where I am today. With roommates and boyfriend my first year in DC, things were relatively easy. Then my roommates all moved out of state and my boyfriend dumped me, that’s when reality hit me straight in the face.
Last month marked a year together for my boyfriend and I. After months of badgering him about wanting to be swept off my feet for our anniversary, the boy pulled through with a pretty awesome anniversary date. And to make things better, a minor hostage situation gave me the entire day off. Don’t worry, nobody was hurt or anything, it was less hostage-y, more of a distressed employee. After months of spending every single day with the same person, there are times when him just sneezing makes me want to punch myself in the face. You saw that going somewhere else didn’t you? Well it didn’t, because long term relationships aren’t all about romantic dinners and nights spent snuggling. There are times when I seriously find myself arguing with him and he’s not even home, it’s mostly just me fussing by myself. But hey, I have my reasons. Boyfriends aren’t all bad though, I promise. Finding someone who can put up with my abnormally squeaky voice and tendency to spill when eating has its perks. Sure he doesn’t share my love for reality TV or frozen yogurt, but I have my reasons for not letting him go.
If you don’t know me personally you probably missed the part where I graduated college and moved back home. No big deal, I didn’t even post on Instagram about it. Moving home has been….interesting. After being away for so long and only visiting occasionally, it’s surreal to see my old bedroom fill up with all my belongings again. Two weeks into post grad life I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to figure something out for my mom. Apparently her tablet had been notifying her she was low on memory which led her to run to Staples to buy an overpriced SD card. I’ve told this woman a million times about the wonder that is Amazon, yet she keeps shopping at useless stores like Staples. I swear, that company must make it’s money off people who have kids that don’t love them enough to teach them how to shop online. Anyways, as I’m transferring my mom’s photos from her tablet to a removable SD card she decides to give me a lesson about 8 years too late. She begins lecturing me about Google and how I can literally search any question on this website and it will come up with a list of answers. Apparently I can look up things on my phone, computer and tablet, basically anything with an internet connection. As I’m sitting there trying really hard to not laugh my mom is going on and on about all the questions she’s searched.
Growing up in California meant I was never too far from a Goodwill or Salvation Army, but metro accessible thrift shops are super hard to find. Three years later and I’ve finally found thrift shops that a) are easy to get to without a car and b) always end with me leaving with a bag full of clothes. Most of the thrift shops on the list I’ve visited myself personally, but one is a recommendation from a friend who always looks like she just walked out of a magazine, so I’ll trust her recommendation. By far my favorite thrift store in all of Washington DC, and stupid me walked past it every day for months without going inside. Rosario 3×10 is a thrift store located in Columbia Heights, on 14th Street just a few blocks north of Target. Shopping there is pretty simple, everything is 3 for $10 unless otherwise marked. Typically items that are not 3 for $10 are located on the three front racks of the store, ranging from $1-$8. In all of my months of shopping there I’ve never paid for than $8 for an item, which was a maxi skirt from JCrew. With the store being small you can shop the entire floor in about thirty minutes, with items including shoes, clothing, linens and accessories. Frugalista is the sister store to Rosario 3×10, also featuring very discounted clothing items in the Columbia Heights area. The main reason I don’t shop at Frugalista more often is because I like how simple the pricing is at Rosario, but Frugalista makes up for it with a more organized store and higher quality items. Frugalista has a larger selection of shoes available and is a great place for men in the District to visit if they are in need of a new work clothes. If you love getting a lot for your money, Georgia Avenue Thrift Store is a must visit. I love this store for one reason, the books! Books cost around 45cents each, with children’s books being even cheaper. In regards to clothing, there is a lot to look through yet there is a visible difference in quality between Georgia Avenue Thrift and Rosario 3×10. Unlike other thrift stores in Washington DC, Georgia Avenue Thrift Store has a home wares section where you can find small appliances, dishes, vases, and other typical thrift store items. This thrift store also has a variety of furniture for sale, children’s clothing and toys, and walls lines with art and mirrors.
I’d like to say to myself that 2016 started off with a bang, but I can’t. My first day of the new year was spent crying, questioning the decisions that have led me to where I am today, and calling just about everyone in my phonebook for strength. Facebook time hop reminded me that two years ago today I was also crying, but for very different reasons. January 2, 2013 I was boarding a flight to London, something I spent months working for and even more months anticipating. The time I spent living in the United Kingdom sparked in me a love for traveling, which eventually led to me relocating to Washington DC after college graduation, falling in love and slowly realizing my dream wasn’t as perfect as I imagined. Last year on New Year’s day I spent my time wandering the streets of Northwest DC, taking photos on a disposable camera and still believing that if I worked hard enough everything would fall into place. New Year’s 2015 I had a boyfriend who loved me, roommates to talk to when I got home, and barely enough money to pay my monthly bills. A year later I find myself in a much better job, enjoying every moment of my graduate program, but completely alone. If I could go back and talk to myself at the start of last new year, I would warn that version of me that giving all your time to a group of people who have zero interest in getting to know you will only lead to one day feeling as if you are completely alone in a room full of people. Committing yourself a relationship where you are always the first to call, apologize and move forward will only lead to you waking up one day exhausted, unloved and unaware of where to go next. This new year I finally began to listen to what my friends back home had been saying for months, and I finally listened to my gut instinct and realized nothing was ever going to change as long as I was the only one willing to admit change needed to occur. Unfortunately I spent 2015 supporting a man who gradually lost all respect for me, making small talk with people who were openly rude to me, and laying in bed at night wondering why no matter how hard I tried to make the people around me like me, they never did. Washington DC has been my dream since my 8th grade visit, and like an idiot I believed that my dream was possible while also spending time with people whose idea of fun was my nightmare. I cant count the number of hours I have spent sitting in a bar, making smalltalk with small minded people, inhaling secondhand smoke, and just wishing that just one of them would give me an ounce of chance to show them I wasn’t all the bad things everyone assumed I was. If I could show this letter to me in 2015, I would write in all capitals that it’s better to spend my nights alone than to spend them crying on my bathroom floor while someone sat in the next room without a care. I cant say for sure if things will get any better in 2016, but I am in control of the people I allow to into my life. So for now I am alone in a city full of people, but at the very least I can come home and not worry about what argument I’m going to fall into, what someone is going to say about me as I step away to the restroom, or what innocent gesture will be considered rude. If I could talk to the version of me on January 1, 2015, I’d tell her that nothing is going to get better as long as I continue on the same path. So starting today I’ve removed myself from the people who openly dislike me, I’ve quit trying to convince a man that I am worth respecting and I will do everything in my power to take back the dream I had at 13 years old, the one where I’m a strong, independent woman, with her own apartment in the city, a cat to cuddle with at night, and friends to call on when she’s grown bored of sitting at home.
Not understanding why our photos are always so dark, …or worse, yellow! The irritation that comes with trying to get the perfect flat lay. 
Spending hours on a post that get’s minimal page views while another blogger writes the same thing and has it go viral. Trying to explain to your friends why they can’t eat their food yet. Having a collection of half used notebooks. And an even bigger collection of post its, notepads and every pen in the Target One Spot section. 
The worry that comes with your boss finding your blog. The anxiety of the new guy you’re dating finding your blog.
Never being fully satisfied with your blog design. Pretending like you totally understand StumbleUpon. Your most ordinary post pulling in all the page views, and you have no clue why! The stress of feeling like you need to post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and whatever new social media is cool that month. 
Posting your contact info and waiting for the sponsorship opportunities to start rolling in…*total silence* The embarrassment that comes with using the same stock photo the same week as a blogger you follow. Never knowing what to say in your About Me. Watching a new blogger get really popular and sitting at home wondering why. 
The whole niche versus no niche argument. Having read dozens of WordPress versus Blogger posts. And being strongly on one side of the debate. Just wanting to find an Instagram aesthetic you can stick to, and enjoy! The feeling of a post you worked really hard on getting genuine comments. 
I’m writing this post immediately after getting of the phone with my mom. In one phone call she managed to have to reset her password twice, hang up on me once, and raise my blood pressure. Anyone with a mom who doesn’t use technology much knows the stress that comes with trying to teach your mom how to use a new feature, bonus points if you do it over FaceTime.
The episode you stumbled upon has ended. You have less than a minute to decide if you’re gonna get up or sit and watch the next crime. Here’s the thing, I think if you have the self control to shut it off before the crime is committed you might just be able to walk away. Most of us just have to see what episode it is, and by watching the crime we decide to just watch one more. Now that you’ve spent another full hour watching Law and Order SVU you realized today’s marathon is themed. Maybe the theme is famous guest stars or crimes committed by children. I don’t know the exact science around this, but a theme makes it so much more fun to watch. 
It’s been three hours and you’re still watching. At this point you are either still in denial but not moving, or have given in and are surrounded by snacks and your phone charger. Settle in for the day, you won’t be doing anything productive anytime soon.
December 8, 2023
Making Friends as an Adult | When Life Gives You Rubi
maximios Blog
This past weekend one of my closest friends visited Washington DC for the first time. As a person who actually helped me with the process of applying to intern in DC and after became the friend I called on (literally) during all my tough days in the city, having her visit meant a lot to me. We spent four days exploring all the city has to offer, from monuments I’ve seen a dozen times to restaurants I’ve always walked past but never visited. It was the most fun I’ve had all year, then it ended. My friend had to fly back home and I returned to my life of responsibilities and boring but necessary tasks. Nothing changed from the time she spent at my apartment to the time she entered her car to the airport except for the fact that I was back to having no one in the city that really knew me. This is what adulthood looks like, crazy that we all spent our childhoods wishing we could grow up already.
Making friends as an adult is hard. By adult I mean anyone who is not attending college and is over the age of 21. You need at least three to four years to realize which of your high school friends will remain lifelong friends. Once you hit the milestone of living on your own, outside of a campus setting with a full time job taking up all your time, you realize that your social circle feels grows small quickly. Moving to the city was a major accomplishment in my life, with my entire college career leading towards where I am today. With roommates and boyfriend my first year in DC, things were relatively easy. Then my roommates all moved out of state and my boyfriend dumped me, that’s when reality hit me straight in the face.
Related Post: 10 Lessons You Lean Living Alone in Your Twenties
Hollywood glamorizes what it’s like to go through our twenties, with best friends sitting directly next to us at the office and nights spent under bright lights and loud music. Real life is a lot more like how I spent my Easter Sunday. In bed, with an extra large pizza, watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, Part 2. Alone.
I’m not complaining,I had a damn good time hearing Phaedra call out Kandi for being a bad friend, but I’d be lying if I didn’t wish I had a girl fiend to split that pizza with. But you can’t always get what you want, like a chic apartment in the city with a roommate to share all your adventures with. Life isn’t all too bad lately, I’ve quickly jumped out of my January slump and found myself a group of people who don’t make me want to go home before the night has even started. Making friends isn’t as easy as it used to be, but it also isn’t impossible. Coming up on the blog will be a handful of ways to socialize without the awkwardness that comes with meeting new people. Until then, I could always use some advice of how you manage to get through your twenties with a group of friends you wouldn’t mind sharing a pizza and tv marathon with.
What do you struggle with most when it comes to making new friends? Leave me a comment so I know what I should focus on in my upcoming post!
P.S. Are you a twenty something that isn’t sure if you’re living the dream or just surviving it? Click here to learn more on how you can connect with other twenty somethings on Instagram who know the struggle of trying to figure out how to adult while also eating popcorn for dinner one night a week.